Entry #6-First Photo Journal

*This is something I just started. I sometimes browse pictures and save the ones I like. These pictures can beg anything from a beautiful woman to a fancy car to a powerful quote. I have decided to start a journal about each picture. Enjoy!*

The picture in question.                                     

This picture is simply the perfect summary of the Dark Knight Trilogy. Let me just say this straight up: I am a comic book lover. Not fan. Lover.

I never realized though how much I loved Batman in particular until I saw Rises which completely blew my freaking mind away. Funny story about the first time I saw it; the night before it I was drinking with some good friends of mine and things got a bit out of hand. I got poisoning and threw up till like 2PM the next day.

As it would magnificently happen, we had a field trip scheduled for New York the next day. So while I was puking my guts out, my friends were having the time of their lives in Times Square. Sucks balls, eh? That's what I thought.

Alas! This voice in me refused to let that make my day a complete waste. That morning I had completely forgotten that Rises had came out a few days before so I decide to go see it as (like any other normal human being) was dying to see it.

I literally could not stop thinking about it for the rest of the day. That movie blew my brain away completely! I remember actually jumping in my seat (not moving in an upwards motion but actually freaking jumping) from the excitement. It got me thinking so much that for the following weeks, I couldn't stop thinking about it again and again.

As I walk into a book store around two weeks later, I find a big-ass book called "The Art and Making of the Dark Knight Trilogy". Usually when I'm buying things, I check the price tag and determine if that is a logical price to pay or not before the purchase. This was an extremely rare occasion in which I just looked, confirmed I had the money and bought it without a second thought.

As soon as I was home, I started reading it. It gave insight into how and why the trilogy was made into what it was and it made me love it even more. The next day, I watched The Dark Knight. This time, I actually focused on the themes and ideas the book had mentioned while watching the movie and was amazed by it even further (and that says a lot cause I had always been blown away by it).

Not long after that, I watched Batman Begins for the first time in years and found countless things I had never noticed before like the prevalence of fear as weapon, tool and philosophy. Watching the three movies backwards made me realize so much about how both the character and the genre have actually impacted me extensively throughout my life. In fact, I was so blown away (yes this is the third time I use the phrase because it was so fucking amazing!) that I decided I would write my college essay on Batman and how he has impacted me.

We'll see what Columbia thinks about that!

Entry #5-RETURN!

Wuzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuub! Guess what?! I'm not dead! In fact I haven't felt this alive in a month!

As you probably already know, I am a high school senior who is applying to college. Well, as of today, that verb is in the past for my dream school.

Yes, today I applied to Columbia College! The experience was simply damn scary! I actually screamed right after I pressed "Submit"

So a few updates:

• I have returned and will be blogging MUCH MORE than when I stopped
• My first-kiss girl is semi-officially out of my life. Kinda sucks buuuut....
• I (feeling a bit bummed about it) somehow found myself on the edge of falling into an actual relationship! Before you call me a man-whore now, you need to hear about this girl! (TBC)
• My poetry has improved so much! I've actually been watching a LOT of videos and my imagery, flow and even purpose have all escalated!
• I'm back to doing things for myself. This one I'll especially elaborate on in the next posts but basically, I have decided to stop doing things all the freaking time for others sake. I am going back to focusing on numero uno. Not that other people are not important but as a dear person told me "You can't love anyone else if you can't love yourself"

Brief as this is rest assured its not the end! Much more posts to follow be sure of that! 

Till our next encounter dear readers, adios!

Entry #4-Introduction to Human X's Poetry Passion

So as you guys get to know more about the very things that make my brain click, you will be seeing a series called Human X's Poetry Passion (honestly how cool is the acronym HXPP?!).

One day, I'll perform with a beard like that.

It'll basically be either thoughts I have on poetry (kind of prose on poetry) or some of my own poems. For this introductory chapter, I'd like to share with you an essay I wrote for my writing class a few weeks back about one of my favorite poets, Alysia Harris. I think it says a lot, if not all, about why I love and do poetry so hope you enjoy!

'Proud of my thighs who unlike the Red Sea never parted for a man posing as a God'-Alysia Harris-"Joy"

The primary function of any art is to get one to think. It is upon that basis that I decided to choose this line above the countless fantastic ones found both in poetry in general and in the poem.
Spoken word poetry is my favorite and primary form of artistic expression. Whether I am watching a performance or writing my own material, I always experience a sort of evolution every time I am exposed to the medium. I have found it to be an immense tool of personal discovery, change and of course, expression. Naturally, that made me biased towards choosing a line from a spoken word poem. Simply following what I loved, I decided to pick one of my favorite spoken word artists, Alysia Harris.
I look up to Alysia not just for her extraordinary artistic talent and worth but for the values she portrays in her works like dignity and self-respect. "Joy" exemplifies all this and so much more about her perfectly. It is not only one of the finest of her works, but one that she deemed before performing as the most important poem she had ever written. As usual with poets or artists in general, she brings out a personal issue (failed relationship) here and speaks about its development. The interesting thing about "Joy" in particular is that the struggle as it is depicted is not only one that we all go through at least at one point but one that we can genuinely take away powerful lessons from. Despite the abundance of powerful lines in the poem, none has impacted me as much as this.

Alysia Harris

Now that the origin and sentimental aspect of the line has been explained, it is time to explain the significance of it both to the poem and on its own. To the poem, it is quite simple; it perfectly summarizes the idea behind the poem. Like megaphones, its words scream out a message of empowerment to any and everyone who has been through similar situations where they felt their worth had to be determined by someone they may not have even liked. It is especially significant to me given how many times I have gone through this struggle and often still do.
Following suit, the line brings out the universal and crucial values of self-respect and dignity. Here we have a woman who is basically saying that her beliefs will never be compromised even when those who prefer the exact opposite strike at her with the "divine card". The line basically pushes for one to stick to personal ethics and values simply because they are only for you to mold. The poem is essentially about her victory over misery and the illusion that she is not worthy because of a failed relationship. This line along with the two before it represents the culmination and epilogue of that struggle in which it hits her that she does not need any man (or anyone in fact) to be happy and complete. The message in this line proves highly empowering as I continuously go through this struggle. Lines like this in the poem ensure I am reminded of my personal worth and its value without regarding anyone else.
The impact is only enhanced by adding the religious aspect to the whole equation. What is specifically strong here theologically though is that a great distance is put in place between God and the true reality of religion and the age-old question of how much of it has been by impostors like the ones mentioned here and how much of it is true.
Finally, the phrase is highly controversial. I love anything and everything that drives me to think. That is in fact one of the main reasons why I find a perfect niche in spoken word poetry. This line perfectly brings that out as it is not one that is easy on the ears given that such level of religious challenging is not that common in our native countries and is often considered a "terrorist joke"
Despite how short it is, the line has a humongous effect on me. For it coming from one of my favorite spoken word artists, embodying such important themes and striking the controversial, I find it the perfect candidate for such an assignment. There is truly nothing more powerful to me than a strong artistic body that I am personally passionate about. 

Watch her amazing performance here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INK9DuI3l7o 

Entry #3-Birthday Sparkling Wine & Atheist Conversations

*Yes I'm posting again right now*

So one of my best friends turned 19 today. After getting messed up enough for the rest of the week yesterday in celebration (there was some puking and weird questions), we have a (harmless) gentleman's toast of sparkling wine (courtesy of a lady friend of ours).

Though I would love to recount the escapade of yesterday, this post is about a deep conversation we had over the wine about our theological tendencies. More specifically our tendencies to not have them at all.

I will be straightforward. I am an Atheist. I urge you not to take it as arrogance or hostility towards your faith when I add that I am a damn proud of Atheist. Not because I think that any theist is even remotely below me but because I believe it is a form of personal achievement to ditch your society's baggage and proclaim what you truly believe (or in this case don't believe) in. In some way, it's the religious equivalent of coming out of the closet.

I don't exclude theists from my life of course but it so happens that the closest people to me are at least very skeptical of religion and faith in general. Not that they're better human beings than anyone else in any way but because I simply feel more comfortable around them.

As what I could not differentiate from champagne slid smoothly down my throat, we discussed how our skeptical grandfathers made us scared as kids when we still strongly believed in Hell. I recounted how my grandfather this summer told me about how Islam was nothing more than a smarter tool for the priests to control their subjects as they found that the worldly nature and obsession with physical characteristics of paganism eventually failed.

Yes, we do poke fun at religion every now and then. I hope this doesn't cause anyone reading this to spontaneously decide to take up arms against me in the hopes of purifying the world from what millions will label "satanism" (if you are one of them, joke's on you muthafucka you don't know me muhahaha) however given how I intended this blog to be my only true form of expression to the world, I cannot lie in it.

There will be many entries to come about my beliefs as this one was merely intended as both an introduction and a brief recounting of how awesome the toast and the sparkling wine were.

Now I seriously say goodnight!

Entry #2-College Woes

Even though it's 12:20AM right now and exhaustion calls upon my already lazy body to sleep, I feel this post especially is worth some sacrifice.

So yes this does break one of the rules I had mentioned as it reveals that I am indeed in high-school (about to finish though biaaacthes!) however as you will very soon come to know, I don't follow many rules too well.

Let me be blunt. I am a college whore. I have struggled with it hard and long however recent honest reflection has pushed me to realized that I am a junkie to the prospect of sexy brand-name universities. I fully realized this when I was hanging with my two best friends and we notice a random cut-up of a college brochure posted on the notice board. They look at it and go all "Haha! You're the college whore you probably know what this is!" As I sarcastically laughed back, I briefly glanced at the little piece of paper and muttered "Yea that's UChicago"

I used to be much worse actually. There was a time when I actually believed that if you don't attend a brand name college than your undergraduate education amounts to nothing.

Now before you start hating me and that squishy brain of yours figuratively pokes your fingers to close this lovely blog, know that that was a loooong time ago. Okay not really but I have truthfully come along way since that foolish stage. For instance, I now believe that it is important that you pick a college that suits you rather than your parents' over-inflated unrealistic expectations. See? I'm actually mature.

I may not be as hot, but rest assured this is
what it feels like sometimes.

That said, I can't help fearing my life won't be as awesome without the "Ivy" experience. Yes Yes Yes. College DOES NOT who you are/will become and though I do believe that fully, I still worry that any accomplishment I achieve throughout the years won't count for shit when the next guy on the job application proudly announces Yale as his alma mater. That doesn't mean my eyes are set on Harvard (undergrad sucks major ass there by the way) but it means I give higher regard to institutions with better reputation and rankings.

That really bums me out though. As much as I hate our obsession as a society over famous shit, I just can't a college called Tufts or Pomona seriously. Don't get me wrong, both are reaaaaaally good schools and I would be damn lucky to get admitted into either but let's be realistic. Wouldn't you feel like laughing even slightly if some guy came up to you and told you:
"Hi! My name is Bob. I studied Astrophysics and Microbiology"
*at which point you'll be all whoaaaa*
"at Tufts"
*at which point you'll be like meh*
You may even randomly say something like "How tough was that?"

I crack dry jokes.

Yea so back to my college fears! So as of right now, I am 99.9% sure my awesome life destiny lies in the slightly well-known school that is Columbia University in the City of New York (yes I said its official full name that is how bad my college whoreness is). Truth is, my obsession with Columbia over any other school started due to two very simple reasons; it's an Ivy League college in New York City. That was all it was at first until my college councilors talked some wisdom into me at which point I decided to actually look up the college. Believe it or not, I did actually find that it was more or less a hell of a match for me. I could go on for hours about that but it just so happens that this is not my supplement draft. All you need to know is that they have one of the best creative writing programs in the country, a self-contained campus in the best city on earth and a collaborative system with said greatest city on earth that basically make the best things about it freaking cheap.

The problem now is that I'm worried about admission. Not to the point of staying up late to blog about it *oops!* but at least to think about it every now and then daily (if that makes sense). Truthfully, I am starting to worry that my application may not be that strong especially with my not-so amazing grades on the Stupid American Test (you probably know it as the SAT).

However, now that I've unleashed the stress in this writing I feel the urge to let my heavy head hit the pillows. You will be surely updated along the stressful times of my application.
Until then dear reader,


Farewell.

Entry #1-Human X's First Kiss (*)

As you can probably guess from the sexy title, this is a description of my (Human X) first kiss. Guys amazing is just the perfect word for it. It was one of those things you've always imagined as epic but never realized how much until you actually do it. Now as my Writing teacher would say, enough telling. It's time to show you guys.

So there's a girl, right. Gorgeous thing (in a positive not derogatory way-son of a feminist here), loads of fun to be around and quite simply someone I truly care for. After being into her for around three weeks, I made the move so to speak. Didn't work. She confesses that while she's as into me, there's another guy and she doesn't know exactly who to go for. Yesterday, things kind of...changed.

So we're sitting in the middle of this game show thing happening and she's telling me how fun it is to roll down a soccer field on a hill. I admit that I've never done it hence I wouldn't know. She asks if I wanted to do it that very night. Though my facade obliges me to answer coolly sure my mind screams hell yes. 

A breeze sweeps through the damp night as we walk tightly but somehow comfortably on the cool grass. Concern arises as my eyes note the steepness of the hill upon which we stood. (ok maybe it wasn't the dangerous kind of steep but come on! Darkness and chilly weather have a way of making everything seem more menacing) I take out my phone, wallet etc. and stand at the edge. She comes up behind me as premature laughter infects us both. She tells me not to worry. I look at her face and don't. 

I wasn't worried for my cloths/health/whatever normal people are worried about before they roll down a soccer field on top of a hill. I was simply worried that the beer and burgers from earlier would decide they preferred the outside world to the no-longer-coziness of my stomach. Remembering the notorious phrase 'YOLO', I lied on the ground and went first.

For obvious reasons I remembered Tina Turner's "Rolling Down the River". As I flipped and turned down the dark green slope, nothing left my struggling mouth but muffled "Shits" and "Fucks" As gravity finally brought my body to a stop, I struggled briefly to return my spinning head to order. Five seconds later she landed after a scream-filled tumble and we both sat upright stuck side by side to each other. It wasn't long before our gazed switched to the stars above us. 

She remarked how she's always loved how the stars remind her that there are things beyond us mere mortals in the universe as I admitted that I've always found magic in them. I look up at the most stunning sky before looking at the most stunning girl as we both movie smile. A little person in the back of my mind observed what the eyes fed my brain and screamed for me to go for it. I do. 

Instinctively, I reach forward as my lips sort of smack hers. I retreat immediately fearing that I went out of line. As I go all awkward dude and say "Sorry...that was just instinct" she replies "It's fine" before reaching out to kiss me back. It felt like breathing for the first time. A sensation that was so natural it felt weird I had never felt it before yet so phenomenal it was like discovering new life. Our lips do this dance for a bit as my left arm slithers to her head. As if someone had ordered us, we stop and actually discuss it. She tells me about how she's still not entirely sure which guy to go for despite her feelings for me. Wishing I could diss him, I realize that it's not the 'gentlemanly' thing to do so I shut my mouth and simply say "Take your time"

We both lay back as our heads look to the stars again me in hope her hopefully the same. She lays her head on my chest and kisses my cheek. Not wishing any form of rudeness of course I kissed her cheek back. We start kissing again. This time a bit faster with approxiametly 20s more of experience on my end. We stop again and just lay there for a while. Not long after that, we had to leave.

So yea, there you go. Truth is, I am not entirely sure how this thing will go but optimism at the moment doesn't seem so stupid. Anyway, this blog will be the first place/person (?) I update when I know for sure whether it'll work out or not. 

Until then, peace out great readers. 

(*): Human X is how I shall refer to myself. As general knowledge entails, the letter x is the most common letter used in representing any variable in mathematics. Given how I am a variable in the equation of our race (yes that was some deep philosophical shit) I chose X to follow Human. Furthermore, X is pretty fucking cool. Malcolm X, American History X, Project X hell, even Element X from the Powerpuff girls is epic.

Begins

Post Number (0)-The Primary Alpha Text

Greetings to you all

My name is...well I hope you will excuse my opposition of the orthodox greeting as you will soon find out, it serves no purpose to this blog. 

You will not know my name. In fact you will barely know much of the details society loves to scrutinize. Rather than telling you my age, nationality and whatever else "paper-identity" I have, I will tell you everything else. From my frustrating poems, struggle with the future to my passion for passion, idolization of Batman and love stories. From athiestic tendencies and truly "wild" nights to essentially the very human being I am. 

This is my first ever actual blog so *pretty* please don't judge.  

That said, let this freaky experiment of mine begin. 

Honestly hope you enjoy.